We are very fast to point fingers when something doesn’t turn out the way we want or we expect. We are quick to try to find who is to blame. We then start blaming and complaining. We complain as if complaining solved anything.

Instead, we should as Epictetus said almost 2,000 years ago:

“For nothing outside my reasoned choice can hinder or harm it—My reasoned choice alone can do this to itself. If we would lean this way whenever we fail, and would blame only ourselves and remember that nothing but opinion is the cause of a troubled mind and uneasiness, then by God, I swear we would be making progress.”

— Epictetus, Discourses, 3.19.2–3

Remember that feelings are choices. And to choose not to feel harmed by events is one of the most important choices you can make. We get not to decide the outcome, but we do get to decide how we feel about it. Events, after all, are not something we can control. Yes, we can plan, train or get ready, but still, luck, randomness or other events can send all our plans out the window.

So remember to control your mind, control your thoughts and stop blaming and complaining. You are only wasting energy on things that won’t change anything. Instead, today seek joy in purpose, excellence, and duty. Do what you have to do.

Post is originally written for Medium

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